Woe is me, this is not! Part 9 of 9

Part 1

This is not a woe is me post, but I think it is going to sound like it.  After writing it, and realizing how long it is (almost 4 pages in a Word document), I decided to make this multiple posts (8).  So I am going to add a paragraph to the bottom of the posting each day.  By the end, you will see how everything has evolved for me as far as being a great wife and mom from getting married, having not one but two kids, and where I am now.  Oh yeah, I asked B to read this to make sure he was okay with it before I posted it.  He was okay with it and he wrote me a really good email reply after it that I am going to make the ninth post so you can see how the other half thinks!

Growing up I thought when I get older I am going to be able to do it all. I mean that is what you see on the TV shows. Right? How hard is it going to be to be married, keep a clean house, raise kids and work full-time? If I was really lucky I would marry someone who made enough money so that I could be a stay-at-home mom. I would bake desserts, be the great soccer mom, be part of the PTA, and so much more. (Oh, did I mention that I also wanted 4 kids.) How hard could this all be? I nannied for a family of 7, six boys and one girl for over 15 years. If I could handle seven kids and come out of it okay, I could surely be married, have kids of my own, and keep house.

One of my favorite baby pics, and yes I am a twin.

Part 2

Boy was I wrong.  When B and I got married we lived in what you would call a starter home.  It was just under 1,000 sq. ft. and needed a lot of work.   B did all the work himself from putting a new roof on to building a dog house with dog door.  I thought it was hard to keep up on that house and barely managed it.  To vacuum the entire house it didn’t take more than 20 minutes, and yet I couldn’t keep up.  I found out I was just not the type of wife that was good at keeping house.  Somehow I had to figure out a way to be this great wife that was awesome at keeping a clean home, had dinner ready, and took care of everything.  I came to realize that as long as B and I were happy together that was all that mattered.  Sure we had our arguments, but when it was all said and done we were happy.  Somehow between the two of us we did keep up on the house and had a great little home.

Our little family

Our first home

Part 3

We decided to move out of Toledo, and somewhere that we wanted to raise children.  So we decided to move to Perrysburg.  After looking at over 100 houses we settled on our current home.  It has not been a dream home for B or me.  We have discovered many things wrong with this house that we did not initially know.  If we did we would not have bought the house.  Fast forward 8 years and B is still working on redoing this house.  If I thought keeping up on a house under 1,000 sq. ft. was hard, imagine my surprise when I had a hard time with a two-story 1,800 sq. ft. house.  We had many arguments about the house and cleaning it.  At the time we were both working full-time jobs so it was hard for either of us to keep up on the house.  Somehow between the two of us we did it.  We managed to keep the house clean and were happy at the same time.

Our new home & current home

 Part 4

Skip ahead 3 more years and now S has become a part of this family.  If we thought it was hard before to keep up on the house, now it was simply impossible.  I did go back to work part-time for about two months and then I became what I always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.  Now that I was home full-time, surely I could raise a child, maintain the house, and be a great wife.  I mean I had all the time in the world.  Well I was able to do one of the three.  Being a mom that I could do.  I hated being pregnant and was happy it was over, but loved being a mom.  Sure when we brought S home, I thought oh my gosh what did we just do.  Once I got over that I thought I was going to be the best mom possible.  I breastfed S for the first year, made all of his baby food, and never gave him anything he shouldn’t have.  He did not have cake or even try frosting before his first birthday.  (Side note: he hated the cake and frosting and went for his Cheerios instead.)  I got him potty trained at 2 ½ years old.  To this day, S has never eaten fast food (doesn’t even know what McDonald’s is), tasted pop (soda), or had gum.  I know I am one of those crazy moms, but he never had candy until after he was 3, fruit snacks till he was 3 ½.  He never asked for them so I never gave him them.  He wanted blueberries, sugar snap peas, Cheerios, and milk, so why give him junk food.  I had this mom thing down, but keeping up on the house, not so much.

Our new little family addition

Part 5

I started this blog about a year and half ago hoping I could make money and supplement our income.  I thought I could use this money to go on vacations, get items from the store that we wouldn’t normally buy because they are too expensive, and more.  Boy was I wrong.  I do not and have never figured out how to make any money from this blog with advertisers, sponsored posts, etc.  I do, however, love to get free products and review them on the blog.  If you have been following me at all you already know this.  Of course, I love to post my Target finds.  I have religiously posted daily since I started the blog that is until P was born.  Now I am lucky if I get 4 daily posts done in a week and review one product.

Where the blog all started with a new laptop

 Part 6

Enter P.  I was thinking second child, I already know what I am doing so this should be a breeze.  Wrong!  I figured since I have two kids, P is going to have to get used to sitting in bouncers, swings, playing in her crib or under her jungle gym.  If I can keep her happy not being held I will be able to still give S enough attention, kind of keep up on the house, and maintain this blog no problem.  Well I was totally wrong.  P refuses to be put down.  I know it must be the mom’s fault who just wants to hold her baby and doesn’t want to put her down.  Not this mom.  The first two weeks after P was born, anytime she was sleeping I was always putting her down so she didn’t get used to being held all the time.  Let me tell you P slept all the time. 

Wait what am I saying?  She still sleeps all the time at least 23 hours a day (No joke!)  Because P wants to be held all the time, she will literally cry non-stop if you put her down (believe me I have tried and continue to try) the house work has gone by the waste side.  Meaning I can’t even get my dishes in the sink most of the time, let alone actually get the dishes in the dishwasher.  How in the world am I supposed to get any housework done if I can never put P down?  If I am holding P all she wants to do is sleep?  The answer to that question is simple.  I don’t get anything done.  When I say anything I mean anything. 

Now we are a family of four

Part 7

B helps and washes the kid’s clothes for me.  Those clean clothes will stay in the laundry basket sometimes for a week or more.  How do you fold clothes if you can’t put down a sleeping baby?  As I am typing this I have P sleeping in my arms.  I have already tried twice to put her down and it didn’t work.  Now I not only have to find time for S, take care of P, clean the house, make baby food for P (‘tis the season), and write posts for the blog. 

Something has to give and what is that you may ask?  Well have I talked about B and me at all since P was born?  Nope, just how he helps with the laundry for the kids.  That is because there is no time for B and me.  B is so busy working, and then picking up all the slack making dinners, cleaning house, maintaining the outside of house, and giving S enough attention so he doesn’t hate P.  Now I am taking care of P all the time, trying to give S a little attention, writing posts, and eating if I remember and find the time.  Somehow I totally forgot all about B when I talked about what I am currently doing. 

B and I need make time for each other, and cleaning the house.  It’s gotta get easier, right?  I mean hopefully P will start being able to self-entertain.  It’s hard not to compare, but S was already doing this at 11 weeks old.  As I write this it is 11pm, and I never found the time to eat dinner.  I managed to snag a Fiber One Lemon Bar, but that was it.  I know since I am breastfeeding I need to make sure I am eating healthy and enough.  It is so hard.   How do other mom’s manage to do it all?  Maybe they don’t need a lot of sleep?  I need at least 8 hours to function.  If not I will fall asleep during the day when I am rocking P during one of her naps.

Multi-tasking

Dividing my attention

Part 8

It is like learning how to do it all over again.  I have to figure out how to split my mommy time between S and P, and still give B time.  How to multi-task and be able to clean the house, take care of the kids, and have a healthy, happy marriage.  You know the saying you never forget how to ride a bike.  Well this is like that but more.  I know how to ride a bike, but now I have to learn how to ride a tandem bike (bicycle built for two).  Can I learn to ride a tandem bike?  Sure it is just going to take some time and a few bumps, bruises, scraps and lose of blood along the way.  It may take a while, but eventually I will get the hang of it and may even become good at it.

Why did I write this post?  I guess I needed to vent about my frustrations.  I also don’t want everyone to think it is all sunshine and butterflies.  Sometimes there are some bumps in the road but eventually it all works out (or so I think).  Finally, hopefully this will explain why I have not been posting daily and why some reviews are done later than I would have liked.  I guess what I am saying is bear with me, and someday I will be back to posting daily and more.

Part 9

I had ever intention of ending all these postings with the last.  When I asked B to read it and make sure he was okay with it, he sent back an awesome email.  I had to share it so you can see how the other half is thinking.  When I read this email again it brings a smile to my face to know that we are in this together.

His response….

All sounds fine…. Almost needs to be one post together but it is really long for someone to sit and read. 

Believe me,  I don’t blame you for anything.  Do I get irritated with stuff yes, but half the time I think it is because I am unhappy with what I wasn’t able to accomplish not the fact you didn’t do something.  How many years have we not had finished railings… trim… dog house…. Playset…. You name it.  I read something the other day that we might both need to learn from…. 

http://www.onehundreddollarsamonth.com/is-happiness-directly-related-to-expectations/

What truly sparked this anyways?????  Did I miss something or say something??? I don’t feel neglected, at this point life is about the kids not me.  Do you feel neglected??   It’s not intentional if you do.  

At this point I see 2 options….

Drop our control issues and try to count on others to help… Who??? Will we be satisfied??? (probably not) 

Or  Keep trying and do our best to juggle it all without hurting each other to much and do what we can.  Eventually it will all get done or maybe it just wasn’t important enough to worry about.

Love You